Marriage Counsel

Hello, my dear family. Ben and I are taking the marriage and family relations class at church in our ward. They are offering it on Sunday nights once a month, and this past Sunday was our first! There was some doctrine taught that was new to me, so I wanted to share it with you all. It's from the book, "Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family" pages 65-66. Here's the quote:

Family stewardships should be understood in terms of their responsibilities - obligations to one's spouse, not power over one's spouse. Moreover, contrary to scripture and the teachings of latter-day prophets, some have interpreted presiding to mean that after equal counsel, equal consent is not necessary because the presider (or husband) has the right of final say. A noted LDS marriage and family therapist, Carlfred Broderick, reports that he received pointed instruction from President Boyd K. Packer on this matter when he (Broderick) was sustained as a stake president: "When there is a [family] decision to be made that affects everyone, you and your wife will together seek whatever counsel you might need, and together you will prayerfully come to a unified decision. If you ever pull priesthood rank on her you will have failed." On a later occasion, President Packer explained: "In the church there is a distinct line of authority. We serve where called by those who preside over us. In the home it is a partnership with husband and wife equally yoked together, sharing in decisions, always working together."

The stewardship of priesthood does not superimpose a hierarchical relationship over the God-ordained equality between husband and wife. President James E. Faust taught that "every father is to his family a patriarch and every mother a matriarch as coequals in their distinctive parental roles." We emphasize that the patriarchal priesthood is not so called to imply a hierarchy between men and women. Instead, as President Ezra Taft Benson taught, it is called patriarchal because in ancient days it was handed down from faithful father to faithful son, and today frequently still is. President Benson also taught that the patriarchal order is the family order of government, presided over by mothers and fathers. One of the most revolutionary aspects of the restored gospel is its ability to help us envision difference without hierarchy, distinctiveness without inequality. This is what the Proclamation calls upon us to hold as the ideal relationship between husbands and wives.

The instructors for the class further went on to discuss the way the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve reach decisions concerning changes in church policy. I always figured that the Apostles and First Presidency could give recommendations, but that the President of the Church had the final say. Not so. They counsel together until a consensus is reached. They often start out with very different opinions, and things may not be resolved in one meeting, but before it is resolved upon, every member of that body has received confirmation from the Spirit that the action to be taken is what the Lord has determined they should do.


I guess this means I'll have to stop bossing Ben around! (Just kidding!!)